There is an army of people walking on the surface of this planet who could have a happier, more satisfying lives if not for one thing – low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is a negative self-image which is no more than a poor opinion about a self.
An opinion that we believe so strongly that we take it for a fact.
It usually stems from early, difficult life experiences where we were too young to cope with too traumatic stuff such as neglect, rejection, harsh critique, lack of praise or interest etc. It develops into a specific way of living that supposed to protect us from suffering but in fact, it only fuels self-criticism.
Low self-esteem not only is a basis of poor life choices such as bad marriages or wrong careers. It is as well a foundation of so many other problems; from eating disorders, substance abuse, depression, to personality or bipolar disorders.
I cannot help all of this army, but if you suffer from low self-esteem, if you think there is something wrong with you, that you should not exist, that you do not deserve a better partner, a better job or a better life, if you think that all of it is your fault and you should not be here or should disappear all because of who you (think) you are, there is a good chance I may help.
Below you have accounts of people who worked with me.
This way or another, nearly all these stories are about overcoming low self-esteem. Read about their transformation and consider an option for yourself. I am not saying it is easy. To change lifetime problem-causing habits requires work but as well requires good tools.
If you are willing, like they did, to put some time and work, I am convinced you could transform your life as well.
The texts of the following stories are unedited versions of our clients’ accounts of their transformations. Some of them were written by English-speaking clients, some were translated by clients from Polish, and some were translated by us. In the latter case, we were doing our best to keep their original spirit.
I had experienced a traumatic childhood of sexual abuse
Before I met Tom, I wasn’t sure if I really needed his help, although obviously I really did, I was adept at surviving.
I had experienced a traumatic childhood of sexual abuse, went on to make decisions that led me into domestic violence, and to cope with it all used drug addiction to escape the daily torment of life. Even with all of this, I told myself that I had my life and emotions under control even though things never seemed to get better and life always felt like a struggle. I was never the person I wanted to be, there was always an obstacle; an excuse; another poor relationship; a problem.
I was full of guilt and shame about what had happened to me and I had masked it with excessive drinking and taking drugs. On top of this, I was an isolated single mother of three children, one who self-harmed. I was on a low income with no support or inspiration around me. I knew I wanted more from life and needed help but I was not sure what kind or how to get it.
I came into contact with Tom because I knew his amazing wife after she made such a big impact on my son two years previously. I explained all of this to Tom who at the beginning was a bit scary to me especially because he was a man.
After the first session with Tom, although it was long gone, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders just to know the theme that had been running my life felt very powerful. I felt that there was a reason for a lot of my mistakes, something which I could identify with to work on and a purpose for the future.
Tom was calm, quiet and non-judgmental, there was a lot of support for me and he offered manageable solutions for a lot of my problems. I did not really believe in his time-frame and thought it would take a lot longer as I believed that therapy takes years and not months but after some time and effort spent on my problems, he was right and I finished early.
His methods facilitated for me a lasting positive change that has been very visible to the people around me. This has given me more confidence, energy and a new passion for life that has enabled me to step up and be the best version of myself and also to be able to cope when things are not so good. I would recommend Tom wholeheartedly.
Nicole
October 2020
A trap with no way out?
From an early age, I struggled with emotional problems. As a child, I experienced physical and mental abuse from my unstable and irresponsible father. Over time, my parents’ marriage broke up and my father abandoned me and my sister as well.
As a 14-year-old boy, I was completely lost. I had a false image of what a normal human relationship should look like. With time it got worse and worse, before the age of 16, I started to resort to stimulants and drugs. I found myself in a company of people, where the relationship was based on falsehood, betrayal, disrespect and hedonism, a company that I would not wish for anyone.
It’s hard to count the negative experiences, rejections and traumas that I experienced during this difficult period. I got in trouble with the law and couldn’t build a healthy relationship with other people. The days grew harder and I had less and less energy to cope with my life. I fell into severe depression, interspersed with binge drinking and self-destructive behaviours.
Many times, I planned to take my own life because I could not see any way out of my situation. After all these years of living in such a nightmare, when it was extremely bad, I went to a psychiatrist for help. I was very quickly diagnosed as “bipolar” and informed that for the rest of my life I would have to take hefty doses of drugs and work on myself for years to “maybe” achieve some stability.
Years passed and saturated with drugs, although I was feeling better, I was far from normal and I experience very unpleasant side effects of the medication.
At the end of 2019, I came across information about the possibility of working with Tom Jagiello. It’s hard to put into words how profound changes have taken place inside me and in my consciousness. From a wasted man, after 10 years of “sickness”, I rose to my feet within six months. Currently, I function completely without drugs (which were discontinued under the supervision and with the consent of a doctor). I have overcome my traumas and bad memories. I am very active – I have more and more energy. Tom, apart from working with me as a therapist, also taught me many self-improvement techniques, which I use effectively. After the end of cooperation, I still experience an improvement in the quality of life. As a 25-year-old man, I finally found myself, I came out of something “supposedly incurable”, thanks to the way that Tom showed me.
I heartily recommend working with Tom. He is an amazing man and specialist whose services exceed the offer of psychotherapists (at least those I have had contact with so far). Thanks to (maybe less conventional) methods of hypnotherapy, I made a big change and got better in such a short time that it was a surprise even to my doctor. My relationship with my immediate family has improved dramatically. I build satisfying bonds with people. I cope well even if the conditions are difficult or unfavourable. I’m just happy that I was able to make such a change in my life.
Simon
August 2020
(Simon gave his consent if you want to ask him a question directly about his experience with the Breakthrough process, write us an email – we’ll forward it to him).
Bi-polar, borderline, doomed to suffer for the rest of my life… – or not?
After having a very difficult and unconventional childhood, turbulence into my adulthood and after having my fourth child, I was sectioned under mental health act.
I had previously been told by doctors that I would suffer from depression all my life, but this time they diagnosed me with bi-polar which was a shock, and prescribed very heavy medication which I did not like but kept taking on and off for years.
Over the years I had also got very drawn to addictions of all sorts. For a long time when I couldn’t cope, I kept ending up on a mental ward. I was given another diagnosis: “emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder” for which there is no medication.
Thanks to Toms wisdom and kindness he offered me a session. It ended up being a very powerful session! After just 40 minutes I was no longer able to believe in any mental diagnosis. I was able to see that my mental and emotional extremes were something I had formed because I could not deal with reality. Accepting that they were there to help me cope because I had no other learned mental tools, I was able to accept my own full responsibility for my own mental and emotional well-being and my work on me could begin! Although I have to admit I feel a bit lost without my extremes and miss having the option to lose control, but I am learning new ways to cope.
Thank you, Tom, for your persistence and kind caring.
Elizabeth
London 2019
Transform myself to help my daughter
I’ve started work with Tom during the most challenging situation in my life. Since it was connected with my daughter, who was in deep crisis at that time, I felt completely overwhelmed and depressed about what was happening. I desperately needed help how to cope with that situation.
I have been working for over three months on regular basis and it was deeply transformative time. It appeared that if I want to be helpful to my daughter, I have to solve my own inner conflicts. The process was painful. It was a really intensive piece of work but eventually, it was the most valuable lesson for the future.
I’ve removed lots of difficult emotions from my subconscious, I`ve worked with fears that had been blocking me for such a long time. I`ve worked with memories which were unwanted ballast of the past and only limited me. During the work, my life started to change in the most unexpected areas. I’ve discovered strengths in myself that allows to overcome difficulties and learn from it. I’ve gained the courage to take responsibility for my life, I was given lots of information and tools, which I can use independently on my own so I feel more freedom and have more confidence to my own possibilities and resources.
Sometimes it`s difficult to make a decision “Yes I`m going to change my life”. I am more than happy that I took the chance and I would recommend it to everybody who wants to change the situations and don`t know how.
When I started the process I was in deep crisis, after over three months of working I`m strong enough to push my life on the new track and every day I`m amazed how much I’ve changed. Transforming my beliefs, thoughts and limitations have an unbelievable impact on on my daughter. After struggling for about year with eating disorders (anorexia), finally we came to the point that my daughter is eating sufficiently to gain healthy weight. “. And the best thing is that I`m not afraid of the future any more, on the contrary, I`m curious about it.
Agnieszka F
March 2018
(Agnieszka gave her consent if you want to ask her a question directly about her experience with the Breakthrough process, write us an email – we’ll forward it to her).
I had struggled with depression for 10 years.
I had struggled with depression for 10 years. My multifaceted and multi-hued depression was fed even more by bereavement. When I contacted Tom I had not any clear expectations of the treatment, I was confused. During the first sessions, we painstakingly elicited my goals. That was the most difficult part of the process. It allowed me to draw out and concretise my problems, take a look at them and describe them. I needed that because I usually felt flooded by vague emotions and thoughts.
Tom earned my trust by saying that he did not care for making me dependent on him as a therapist. He wanted me to take from the therapeutic process new skills and tools so I could manage independently.
Tom put a lot of effort into our work in and outside the sessions. He was well prepared for every meeting and he expected the same from me. He would create a certain structure of treatment and shared his ideas with me. Then he was adapting his framework to my way of thinking and perception. He would also take into consideration my needs, should I find some difficulty in our communication.
Despite my worries about the effectiveness of Skype meetings, I actually felt really comfortable working via computer – I did not have to go out, I could stay in the familiar and safe surroundings.
My work with Tom focused on two main problems related to old unfinished problems stemming from complex family history. It was a very intensive piece of work. Tom led me through the process of clearing negative emotions embedded in those problems.
Then he helped me to integrate conflicted parts of my personality. I was shown the tools which I could use by myself to consolidate my achievements. Thanks to them, six months after the end of the work, I continue doing well instead of being defeated by yet another wave of depression.
I regained access to many memories and also to forgotten creative abilities of mine, like imagination. I can enjoy experiencing my emotions without losing the ability to think analytically. I again can feel joy and pleasure. The sadness stopped overwhelming me. It became one of many regular emotions I am capable of experiencing. For the first time in a long time, I feel inner peace.
Marta
1.02.2016
(Marta gave her consent if you want to ask her a question directly about her experience with the Breakthrough process, write us an email – we’ll forward it to her).
Struggling with my problems, since I can remember
I decided to work with Tom because my friend worked with him and she highly praised this cooperation.
Struggling with my problems, since I can remember, trying to get to the source of it through reading wise books, conversations with friends, practising meditation, Tai Chi and meetings with therapists, I thought: “if the guy is half as good as she says, I can not pass up this opportunity” .
I was working on two problems with Tom for more than half a year of once a week meetings on Skype, which I thought would be unnatural. Wrongly, as it turned out. Because it’s not about the communicator, but it’s all about communication and content of it. I worked diligently, performing tasks that I was asked to do, answering the most difficult questions that were asked in my life. I was wriggling like an eel, trying to avoid the real answers, because I was afraid of what I could say. It’s amazing how much I led myself astray, rationalized my beliefs, decisions and choices to avoid the truth about myself.
Tom motivated and supported me during the process of change. He was patient, but also tough if it was necessary.
So if you read this wondering whether you should start working with Tom, because you’re in a place, where you’re stuck for too long and it’s becoming harder and harder, and feel that you need a change, because without it, you are lost, I encourage you to take up the challenge.
For me, it was the most interesting journey, I’ve ever had”.
Anna
2015
I was also going through a time when I was drinking alcohol
Tom is without a doubt one of the most honest, intelligent and dedicated therapist that I have had the pleasure to work with.
He helped me going through a serious transformation in a year when I was a real mess in many areas of my life.
I had separated from my partner nearly 3 years earlier but my heart was still hurting. Tom helped me to get over him in an afternoon!
I was also going through a time when I was drinking alcohol more than I wanted too and after one session I was able to stop drinking for 5 month and it was very easy to do.
I felt that Tom very skilfully helped me to see important missing pieces in my puzzle of life!
Tom has the ability to understand very profound information fast and he can help you go through very quickly and very important shifts. His knowledge and dedication comes through not only from his formal studies and techniques but also from his deep life experiences.
He likes to work with people that are committed to change and to succeed in life and therefore he can help you go to higher and higher places if you want.
Martha
London 2014-15
This is our client “M.C.”. Before she started working with us she used to have a terrible arachnophobia for years. This is what she was doing after 40 minutes of working with us:
Unfortunately we do not always have a spare tarantula to test our clients success – that time it was possible.
